We all know that you have to work yourself half dead to get a foothold in Hollywood. And that doesn’t mean that all of those roles you get in the beginning are going to be memorable ones. But at the same time, some of the most popular actors would probably rather forget them. Make you forget them, and bury all copies of the movie in some deep dark hole where nobody will ever find them. Well somebody has found them, and now sit back and relax because the ninja has the Top 10 Worst Breakout Roles ever for your enjoyment. 10 – Arnold Schwarzenegger in Hercules in New York This was a slightly erotic movie, and the later action hero was left to play the famous Greek half-god that decides to travel to NY. Why else did you think that this Arnie movie was titled Hercules in New York? 9 – Kevin Bacon in Animal House Ok, don’t get the ninja wrong, there is nothing wrong with Animal House. But like all good movies there are bad roles, and that is what Kevin Bacon got stuck with after he took this super small (any annoying) part. Bigger roles were waiting for young Kevin, but until he found them it was back to waiting tables. 8 – Jim Carrey in Copper Mountain Before Jim Carrey was famous, or a grandpa he was in the less than good movie Copper Mountain. Ironically this really isn’t even a movie… You read right, it is more an hour and a half long commercial for the health resort Copper Mountain (which is no longer around) plus a country music video. Oh well, everyone has to start somewhere. This is where Jim Carrey started. 7 – Jennifer Aniston in Leprechaun You laughed with her on Friends, you enjoyed her in Love Happens and you screamed with her in Leprechaun. Ok, probably not, not unless you were under ten years old. If you are a fan of horror movies, or more fittingly horror comedies, you will probably like this movie. In fact a girl the ninja new was more into horror movies than anything else, when Jennifer began getting staring credit for this movie the girl got hot. Who else but Warwick Davis can be the star of a Leprechaun film? The answer is Jennifer Aniston! 6 – Sean Penn in Fast Times at Ridgemont High If you know this movie then try and forget it. Sean Penn sure is. And while the ninja isn’t a big Penn fan, actually he isn’t a Pen fan at all, this movie is embarrassing. Just look at the cover of the box, if that isn’t enough to cause nightmares the ninja doesn’t know what can. 5 – David Hasselhoff in Revenge of the Cheerleaders Well all know how bad an actor David Hasselhoff can be. If you’ve ever heard him sing you might not think his acting is that bad. But there may be a reason for all of this, the first role David ever had was in the less than forgettable more than memorable (try and figure that one out) role in Revenge of the Cheerleaders. 4 – Adam Sandler in Going Overboard Have you seen this movie? If the answer is yes then you have the ninja’s sympathies. This is probably one of the worst movies of all time. There isn’t much more that can be said about it than that. 3 – Courtney Cox in Masters of the Universe Another former Friends star in another stinker of a movie. Do you remember He-man, the ninja isn’t talking about the new one, he means the early 80’s monstrosity with the inner plumbing of a grape. He-man was before the ninja’s time but he did get to see the movie. He considers himself to be very lucky. Now no form or torture has an effect on him, that being because this movie is so much worse. He still wakes up in a pool of sweat, this movie is really that bad. 2 – Nicholas Cage in Valley Girl There is nothing that can be said that can convey how very bad this movie is. Just look at the film’s soundtrack prominently displayed on the poster art. No, this movie probably cost many actors their career, luckily for Nicholas Cage he was able to weather the storm. 1 – Tie! Tom Hanks in Mazes & Monsters Just when you thought that Tom Hanks had a spotless career along comes Mazes & Monsters. It is funny how this propaganda movie from 1982 (made-for-tv) can still actually be found on DVD today. Mazes & Monsters sure sounds a lot like Dungeons and Dragons doesn’t it? Actually, that is what the movie is “warning” people about. The movie follows along a group of college students that let their addiction to M&M’s fantasy world take over their lives. The only reason Tom Hanks is scared in this picture is because he saw what his future would have been like without this role. +10 HP! Sylvester Stallone in The Party at Kitty and Stud’s aka The Italian Stallion The ninja has heard mystical stories about this film. And if you are wondering why you’ve never heard of this movie it might be the fact that is actual a porno. Yes, you read right Sylvester Stallone’s first role was in the pornographic movie The Party at Kitty and Stud’s. Later on mush of the movie hit the cutting room floor and it became known as The Italian Stallion. Yikes, talk about a role you would want to forget!
If you were going to get a staring role in a major Hollywood movie would you be willing to lose 70 lbs? How about gaining 70 lbs? No? Good, neither would the ninja. But that is probably why nobody has offered him one either. That and he prefers to work behind the scenes, preferably in the shadows. But that is the topic for another post. What we are going to focus on here is the dedication of the top actors and actresses show for their art. Their willingness to lose huge amounts of weight, or their willingness to gain it. How they bulk up for a role after they’ve starved themselves for another. A practice that was detrimental to Matt Damon’s health when he filmed Courage Under Fire. Let’s take a look at the Top 15 Celebrity Changelings. And we will get started with… 15 – George Clooney 14 – Jake Gyllenhaal 13 – Ryan Reynolds 12 – Hillary Swank 11 – Tom Hanks 10 – Jared Leto Is it just the ninja or does anyone else think that Jared looks a lot like Kevin Smith without a beard? 9 – Charlize Theron 8 – Russell Crowe 7 – Gerard Butler 6 – Benecio Del Toro 5 – Renee Zellweger 4 – Eric Bana 3 – Colin Farrell 2 – Matt Damon And the winner for the most drastic change in weight for a role goes to… 1 – Christian Bale For The Machinist Bale lost 70lbs in less than three months, putting him just over 100lbs. Six months later when he began filming Batman Begins he bulked up to 200lbs. For his ability to change so drastically and so rapidly for a role Christian Bale gets the number one spot.